The Breaking Point

I can count on one hand how many people in my life I’ve actually felt a deep emotional attachment to and even though I think it’s pretty lame, what can you do? It almost always ends in this physical illness that impacts my entire life’s activities. It’s not like I lose the will to live or anything dramatic like that but it seriously makes me physically ill not to have control over something I care so much about.

It’s terrible because any attempt you make to help the other party understand is futile…you can’t make someone understand a feeling when they just don’t care. Feelings aren’t meant to be understood anyway, they’re meant to be felt, amirite? It’s worse when things end amicably because you have no reason to convince yourself never to talk to that person again. And even worse when it’s like “you didn’t do anything, it’s just me.” Right, but it wasn’t “you” for that last ____ months so why now? No explanation…just an excuse.

I just feel like I don’t really know what to do to entertain myself until this feeling passes. It always does, but when I dwell on something I dwell on something. And what the hell, he just doesn’t think about me at all? Because I think about it all damn day. And every time I check my phone, my stomach drops to my feet because there is nothing. Verification of what I already know– he doesn’t give a shit. My phone is on silent so I can’t hear him not texting me.

The thing I think that upsets me the most is him saying it’s not necessarily that he doesn’t want a relationship as much as it is that he’s scared to be in one because he doesn’t want to get hurt. So the obvious alternative is to hurt me instead? How nice. I mean it’s pretty obvious you don’t want to get hurt…no one does. Including me, surprise.

I’m so pissed I keep telling myself not to get involved with the next guy and the next and the next and I’m just an idiot who doesn’t listen over and over. Honestly, it’s kind of a lesson I deserve until I finally learn  to stop opening up to people.

Now it’s just playing the waiting game until I get the F over him.

Hey, Jealousy!

Jealousy is probably the number one worst thing in relationships and I don’t understand it at all. Think about it…

Girlfriend likes/loves boyfriend. She doesn’t want to be with anyone else nor does she want him to be with anyone else. She sees him talking to someone else and picks a fight. Now she’s fighting with boyfriend, whom she wants to be with, because she wants to be with him and wants him to be with her. The fight escalates and she pushes boyfriend away. Now they’re broken up.

 

If you feel like you just read the dumbest thing in the world, it’s because you did. People are idiots for trying to cage their boyfriend or girlfriend. They are people, not pets. You can’t try to control another human’s actions okay? It’s a relationship not a communistic war zone. You can’t make someone want to be with you by limiting what they’re “allowed” to do but you can definitely make someone not want to be with you. And then on top of that, picking a fight with them to make sure that they still want to be with you and causing a break up….hello! You’re doing the exact opposite of what you’re trying to accomplish. Congratulations for being a moron, you’re now qualified to run for president.

Now you can condition people, meaning, you establish a set of standards and say “you can either meet these or move on,” but that’s not telling them to change. That’s just saying “here’s what I’m looking for, you seem to be great so far, the minute you prove to me otherwise, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” They shouldn’t be ridiculous standards either. Basically, make me laugh, do fun things with me, be honest, don’t cheat. If you make it anymore complicated than that, you’re asking for failure.

Everyone needs to RELAX. Your boyfriend and girlfriend don’t always have unfaithful intentions just because they’ve talked to someone from the opposite sex. And you know what, if they’ve given you a reason to think they do have unfaithful intentions, give them the boot! Why would you stay with someone you have to worry more about them cheating and lying than you get to enjoy just hanging out and having fun?

I know I pick on guys a lot, but girls are just as guilty. It’s not really a gender issue. Really it’s just a shitty person issue– and they come in all shapes, sizes, ages, and genders.

Like I’ve said, relationships are optional. There is nothing in the world that says you have to be in one. The only time you should be in one is if it is enhancing your life. Anytime it becomes less than that, abandon ship. You lived just as well before you met that person and you’ll live just as well after. Weller, actually…if that’s a word. Seriously, anytime you have to explain to people “well, it’s not all bad times,” it’s doomed. If going a few weeks at a time without fighting is considered good, your relationships sucks. What you’re doing is wasting time with the wrong person and robbing yourself of ample opportunities to meet other people. And one of those people might just be Mr. or Mrs. … or Dr. Right.

Dependent people are SO terrible to date. They depend on you to make them feel good and that’s too much to ask one person and quite frankly, I’m spending MY time making MYSELF happy so they need to be able to do the same thing. Then we can just be two happy people happily dating each other. The only time you are ready for a relationship is if you can be single and on your own and be completely happy. If you can’t, you need to work on something else, no one can fill that gap and make you happy. You will just continue to be miserable except instead of being miserable by yourself, you’ll be miserable with someone else.